Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Procrastination

It's really an art form to procrastinate. Like coloring, everyone can do it, but like fine art, only the masters make their living off of it. Though I consider myself diligent, and quite a hard worker, I must confess that I am a master procrastinator. If something needs to get done, and I have loads of time before that needs to be, trust me, I can find absolutely anything to fill the time.

Sure, there are the old stand-bys that have always been tried and true methods of procrastination (television, video games, reading other people's blogs...). However, I can find ways to procrastinate just about anything. It started long ago, when I was probably first told to clean my room. It hasn't stopped. It's a snow ball effect, honestly. During college it wasn't so bad, I would start things early, and get them done, prioritizing assignments and papers by doing the ones I found interesting first, and putting off the crap as long as possible. I still procrastinated, in a way, but I always made sure that I was done with papers a few days early, so that I could a) go to class, see that everyone else skipped because they needed to finish, and then have class cancelled [a very satisfying feeling], and b) so that I could nap while everyone freaked out about finishing, and then freaked out more because I was so calm, I could nap [that really pissed off two of my three roommates]. Still, the fact remains, I am currently procrastinating right now [is that redundant?].

I have a major project due, September 15. My master's portfolio must be postmarked by that date in order for me to actually earn my master's degree. I have all the credits already, but I can't earn the degree without sending that portfolio. With every class I took, there were optional assignments at the end of all ten classes, in which I could construct sample portfolio assignments. Like stop signs without white borders, I optioned out of each and every one of those assignments. Even now, with less than 25 days until this thing is due, I have less than 10% of it done. All I have to do is organize previous assignments and write reasons why I chose them to represent my ability at 28 different outcomes. Seems simple enough, but I find ways not to do it.

Work (school) begins again next week...I'll probably spend the weekend cramming as many of these 28 outcomes out of my ass as I can. Still, I feel no sense of motivation at the moment.

I wonder, do all master procrastinators have this nagging sense of doom in the back of their consciousness, telling them that they'll never finish, while they remain calm and collected at the moment? That's how it is for me. The neurotic [read: Italian] part of me is some where back in my mind freaking out, and yelling about it, too. Still, most of my mind is really nonchalant about the whole ordeal.

Am I bipolar?

Shit...I've gotta go think about this...

Guess I won't get anything done tonight :)

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