Sunday, January 22, 2006

Dropping Bombs...and other idiosyncratic and genetic disorders

My family is quite possibly the largest passer of genes related to aeortic aneurysms (both adominal and thoracic). While the British royals pass hemophilia through their lines, my family has hearts that tear apart like the Space Shuttle Columbia.

My grandfather died due to it. Possibly other members of his generation did too, we just don't have the information. This summer, my Aunt was hospitalized for weeks due to the same condition. At that point, we all freaked. We vowed to be screened. I even spoke to a doctor, drew up a rudimentary family tree (which he thought was very advanced...SOME FAMILIES! What, like you don't know all your cousins?), and submitted my entire family for a national study regarding this condition.

Why, then, did my father decide to casually slip in "I have an aeortic aneurysm." During conversation at his birthday dinner. Sure, it sucks, he found out on his 56th birthday. But really, why does my father decide to casually drop bombs on us like this?

Your cat's heart exploded (at the vet's, while we were on vacation).
The dog has cancer.
The dog didn't make it.
The company cut back...etc.

Really? Why drop huge bombs like this? I'm 25, my brother is 29, and my sister is 22. We can handle bad news. We've had bad news.

Why can't we just say things? We don't need protection.

Yet, my wife insists I do this, too. I give her bad news in the same way, apparently. Honestly, I didn't know that I did, but if she says that I do, I probably do.

Combined with this, I've also recieved the following from my father:

  1. The ability to lie effectively, while keeping a straight face (though only my Grandmother can vouch for his ability here). My father's degree is in sociology, with a focus on deviant behavior. Until this moment, I never put those two things together. We are sneaky. Very sneaky indeed
  2. Wavy hair that, combined with aging, thins...a lot.
  3. Myopia...we can't see dammit!
  4. The need...the need for speed. We drive. We drive everywhere. We drive everywhere fast. We drive everywhere very fast, indeed.
  5. The ability to start telling one story, and finish by telling a third (yes, I said third), seemingly unrelated story.
  6. Bad puns.
  7. A great pouty face.
  8. Love of peanutbutter
  9. The need to read anything interesting to my family members...out loud...regardless of whether they care of not
  10. Quick tempers
  11. Quicker sorrow, remorseful of our tempers

Yes, and I'm sure you can name a few, as well...


Sara said...

I have no pouty face, remember? And come on, you don't like when I read "A Morsel from the Garden of Eden" aloud?

Sara said...

Oh, and P.S. E-mail me about a good doctor so I can get my heart (and everything else) checked out, too.