So scared...

Honestly, this was freaky when it happened. Now, it's just comical.

Still, the message was clear, don't take too many NoDoz, or you'll end up in a topless revue in Vegas, pushing rivals downstairs, and not going to a fictitious college like the rest of your high school friends, where they're kept in line by an ex-NFL lineman whose brother is now more famous for a radio show and Nutri-System success.