Saturday, June 23, 2007

Getting teeth ripped out of my skull...

Hydrocodone or dihydrocodeinone (marketed as Vicodin, Anexsia, Dicodid, Hycodan (or generically Hydromet), Hycomine, Lorcet, Lortab, Norco, Novahistex, Hydroco, Tussionex, Vicoprofen, Xodol) is a semi-synthetic opioid derived from two of the naturally occurring opiates, codeine and thebaine. Hydrocodone is an orally active narcotic analgesic and antitussive. Sales and production of this drug have increased significantly in recent years, as have diversion and illicit use. Hydrocodone is commonly available in tablet, capsule and syrup form.

Needless to say, it isn't working quite as well as I liked. In fact, I quit using it. Advil and Tylenol have been just fine. Why do I have it?

Because dentists ripped teeth from my skull. I had to have my 4 wisdom teeth removed on Thursday. It started off innocently enough. The doctor told me how he used to be a caddy at Oakmont when he was younger. He also mentioned he had an important golf game to get to, and I better not give him trouble. I figured I wouldn't, since I'd be less than concious, but whatever. Then, the nurse mentioned how she was from Johnstown, but nobody knew where Johnstown was...except I did, since my brother went to school near there. At some point, my hand went numb, and shortly thereafter, I was unconcious. I remember looking at the clock when my hand went numb, and it was past nine...My wife insists I was in the recovery area by 9:20, at which point I apparently woke up and had the same conversation with her 5 times.

Fastforward 6 hours, and I was still bleeding. Kind of a concern, since my brother had stopped within an hour and a half of his. The wife called, and we went back. They checked out my mouth, and I had TWO popped stitches in my lower jaws. Apparently, the golf match was so important, that the other dentist couldn't bother to finish me up. I had swallowed a lot of blood, and now, they were going to stick a needle of local anesthetic into my two open wounds. GREAT! Some of the lidocaine went down the back of my throat, as well as in my jaw.

I got all stitched BACK UP, and then went home. When I got there, I felt gross, and ran to the bathroom. I threw up a toilet's full of blood, bile, and apple sauce (it was all I had eaten at that point). Very nice!

Now my face is swollen...it hurts to talk. I can't eat. I threw up my own blood. I have large stitches in the back of my mouth. And what? Oh yeah...it cost ME $373...stupid HMO bastards!

1 comment:

S said...

Seriously? Did we have to learn about the vomiting? Why am I not surprised with you?

Do you feel better yet? It has been over a week...